Drunks Don't Lie
by MasterCool
Summary: Zoro takes Robin out for a drink. Or five.


**A/N:** Boy I've had this sitting on my computer for like 5 years now...

Btw I don't own anything.

* * *

"Zoro! Get your lazy ass down here!"

"That damn marimo... Always holding us up."

Zoro listened to the navigator's irritating tone from atop the crow's nest. Why couldn't he just train in peace? They always complained that he didn't do anything, but it seemed every second they were calling for him.

He grunted and put his weights down, walking over and opening he trap door.

"What the hell do you want!?"

"I want you to get down here already! We're leaving!" Nami barked up at him. Where were they going?

Not seeing any other way to end their ongoing annoyance, Zoro jumped down and crashed onto the deck, ignoring Franky's constant complaints about damaging the ship.

"Well, I'm here, now what is so urgent?" Zoro asked, looking at the others. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper seemed excited, while Nami looked as bossy as ever. Sanji had an impatient look on his face, not that Zoro would ever care. The cyborg and skeleton were watching from the railing not too far away, and Robin...wasn't on deck. That was odd...

"Listen up! We're all going out to restock in town, so you're in charge of watching the ship," Nami ordered, pointing her finger at him.

Zoro looked at her like she had three heads, "In town?"

"Uhh... Yeah, in town, that's where normal people buy things."

Zoro turned around and looked out towards the island they were docked at. He swore the island wasn't there a moment ago, but they apparently just stopped by today. No one told him anything anymore...

"Since when have we been docked at an island?"

"We've been in port for two hours, moss head. No wonder you always get lost, can't even pay attention," Sanji retorted, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

"Shut up, dartboard. I wasn't talking to you, or were _you_ not paying attention?"

Nami ended the skirmish before it even started with a few citrus-scented punches, much to Sanji's delight.

"Nami~swan! You smell so lovely! You're so beautiful when you're violent!" The cook sang as a large bump formed on his head.

"As I said before, you're in charge of guarding the ship while we're gone!"

For once, Zoro didn't _want_ to stay and guard the ship, "Why me? I do it every damn time!"

"So? What else could you possibly do in town, besides get lost?"

"A lot of things, you witch!"

"Well, too bad. You're keeping watch and that's final. Franky will be here too, since we won't be getting that much stuff."

Zoro glanced over to his robotic companion who flashed him a smile and a 'thumbs up'. Zoro couldn't help but roll his eyes. He respected Franky and enjoyed his company for the most part, but his immature antics sometimes got on the swordsman's nerves.

"Ugh...fine... Just go already..." The man grumbled, rubbing his sore head.

"Yeah, come on, Nami! Let's go! I'm starving!" Luffy was bouncing around deck like a rubber ball.

"We're not going out to eat Luffy! Sanji'll make lunch once we get back."

"But I'm hungry NOOOOW..."

Zoro turned his attention away from his complaining captain and the annoying navigator. He looked back at the island, studying the small town before hearing a door open up. Robin walked out of the bathroom with a smile on her face and stepped down to the group on deck.

"Are we ready to go?" She asked, brushing back her damp hair.

"I think so. Alright, you all know your assignments, let's hurry up and get this over with," Nami announced before looking back at Zoro and Franky, "We'll be back shortly, so don't worry."

"By all means, take as long as you want..." Zoro's sarcastic comment fell on deaf ears as the group made their way off the ship and onto the island. As expected, Luffy led the way as he blasted off towards the town, while Robin and Chopper casually walked from behind.

* * *

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, eh Zoro-bro?" Franky grinned at the swordsman.

"Yup... Thankfully."

Franky chuckled at the man's exasperated tone, "You got any plans for today?"

Zoro looked at the older man and sighed, "Well, I actually _wanted_ to go into town and get a drink or something, but I guess that's not possible now..."

"Sure it is!" Franky laughed, "I don't mind if you go into town, Zoro-bro. I have some stuff to finish up in my workshop, so I'll be alright."

"Thanks Franky, but if Nami finds out, I'll never hear the end of it..."

The cyborg lifted his glasses over his forehead and grinned, "Don't worry, I gotcha covered! If Nami gets back before you do, I'll just tell her I sent you out to get something. You've kept watch of Sunny almost every time we've left, so it's the least I could do."

Zoro was genuinely surprised. He knew Franky was more mature with him than he was with everyone else, but Zoro didn't think the cyborg paid attention to who watched the ship. The green haired man could only smile.

"Thanks Franky, I appreciate it. You know, you're all right," the swordsman nonchalantly waved as he prepared to jump down from the ship.

"No problem, it's what SUPER friends do, right?"

"Sure is," Zoro chuckled at the man's signature pose before jumping down and heading towards the island's small town. Miraculously, he made it there without getting drastically lost.

"Now then... Time to find someplace to drink..." He told himself, stretching his arms in the process.

The town was an ordinary, small town, like the many others they had visited during their journey. There were open market stands selling fresh produce and bread on almost every street, while larger shops and inns made up a majority of the closely built buildings.

"Maybe there's also a sword shop around here," the man thought, smiling to himself.

Zoro walked down a few of the narrow streets, eying the many signs hanging above doors and shops. Unfortunately, none of them were what he wanted. He noticed several antique shops along the way, far outnumbering any other types of stores.

"What the hell is the point of having ten stores that sell the same damn thing?" He groaned to himself before walking up to a man on the street. He was loading barrels onto a wagon along with a few other able bodied men.

"Hey, uhh...excuse me?" Zoro called out to the working man who casually turned to face him.

"What can I help you with, stranger?"

"Stranger?"

The middle aged man smiled, "Sure... I know everyone in this village, and I sure ain't seen you around here before."

Zoro was surprised. At least he didn't recognize him as a pirate, somehow...

"Uhh... You got any places around here where I can get some cheap liquor?"

"Hahaha... You must be a pirate, talking like that..."

Shit...

"Uhh..."

"Ha! I'm only messin' with ya. We've got lots a spirit shops around here that sell'em by the bottle, but if your lookin' for a bar, I recommend Boyd's place."

Zoro seemed confused, "Boyd?"

"Yessir, that's the owner's name. He runs a pretty smooth place, especially with the different types of people walkin' through. Just don't mess with'em." The man smiled as he finished loading the last of the barrels into the carriage. Zoro was intrigued.

"Alright, sounds good to me. How do I get there?"

The man walked up next to him and pointed down the road, "You're gonna wanna head down this road until you see Maribelle's antique shop. Take a left onto the next street, then take your first right. Follow that street down until you see the old inn, then take a left, then another left, a right, and then one last left. You'll be there in no time."

If Zoro had to take another left, he was going to kill someone. He grunted a 'thanks' before walking off down the road, leaving the man entirely baffled.

"Hey! You're goin' the wrong way! Maribelle's is down that way!" He shouted at Zoro, who was already out of sight. The man scratched his head, "Who was that guy?"

* * *

Zoro walked through the streets with no success. No sword shops, no bars, and no 'Maribelle's'.

"What the hell was that guy talking about? His directions don't make any sense..." he grumbled, walking past an open windowed shop. He looked inside, watching people move around the small store, before his eyes landed on a familiar figure.

"Shit!" Zoro exclaimed as he dashed by the window and into the next alley. "What the hell is she doing here? Damn it... I bet that witch is also with her. If she finds out I left Franky..." He shivered at the thought.

The green-haired man peered around the corner, watching as the archaeologist made her way out of the shop with a pleasant expression. He quickly turned and ran down the alley, but something grabbed his ankle and he fell to the pavement. The object dissolved into several flower petals as he turned to see Robin looking down at him, her usual mocking smile plastered on her lips.

"My, my... What do we have here?" Zoro grunted and rose to his feet. "You didn't seem very happy to see me Kenshi-san... Were you trying to run away from me?"

Zoro sighed. "I was trying to run from that damn redhead, not you," he said in the least irritated voice he could muster.

"Well don't worry, Nami-san isn't here right now. We decided to go our own ways to finish our shopping."

"Oh... That's good..."

Robin smiled at the man, "What are you doing here, Zoro-san, besides skipping out on your guard duties?"

"I wanted to come into town and Franky said it was all right with him, so I did."

"Why did you want to come? You rarely enjoy leaving the ship."

"I don't like being dragged out by Nami. I do things on my own accord," he told her stubbornly, making her laugh. "I'm looking for a sword shop..."

"And?"

Zoro frowned, "And...?"

"You're looking for a bar, aren't you?"

"Uhh...yeah... Is there something wrong with that?" He didn't really understand what she was getting at, he knew something was up due to that damnable smile on her lips.

"No...but you seem rather lost at the moment."

 _Of course._ Zoro rubbed the back of his head in frustration, "Well I asked for directions, but this guy gave me real screwy ones, so I don't know where the hell I am..."

Robin chuckled at the man before her. He never ceased to amuse her.

"He said I had to reach some 'Maribelle's' and make like fifty lefts and a right..."

Robin blinked in surprise before turning to look at the previous store's sign. On the antique sign read ' _Maribelle's_ '. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Did the man mention an owner named Boyd?"

Zoro looked at the woman in surprise, "Uhh...yeah. How did you know?"

"Fufufu... I ran across a few fans of the place earlier. They didn't look so good."

"Figures..."

Robin walked past the swordsman and grabbed his wrist in her hand, pulling him forward, "Well, we have a bar to visit. Are you coming?"

Heat rose into the first mate's cheeks and he snatched his hand away from the archaeologist. Mumbling something incoherent, he followed the raven-haired woman as they walked down the streets.

"Hey, uhh, you think maybe you could not tell Nami about this?"

"Of course. Your secret is safe with me, Zoro-san," Robin turned her head and smiled at him. As annoying as her playful tone was, Zoro knew he could trust her. It was kind of ironic. A few years ago, he didn't trust her at all, and now it seemed she was the only one he could trust.

"So what were you shopping for?" Zoro asked, strangely in the mood for a conversation.

"I wasn't really shopping for anything specific. I finished helping Nami, so I just began looking around. They seem to have a lot of antique shops around here."

"You're telling me? I passed at least five of them on my way here. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that's the one thing we _don't_ need on board."

"Fufufu... I suppose you're right. I doubt a fragile antique would last a single day on our ship," Robin could only picture Luffy trying to eat a piece of pottery.

The two notorious pirates turned a few corners, or at least Robin turned a few corners; Zoro just followed her. To his bewilderment, Robin actually knew where she was going. It was like she had already mapped out the entire island.

"It seems we are here, Kenshi-san," the raven-haired archaeologist said, pointing down the street in front of them. A large, wooden building stood at the street's corner with the name 'Boyd's' written on its sign.

"This looks like the place. Thanks a lot Robin, you coming in?" Zoro turned and asked her. She wasn't sure if he was offering to have a drink with her or he was just curious, but she smiled either way.

"I suppose I will. I've got nothing better to do, and we wouldn't want you getting drunk and lost again, would we?"

Zoro grunted, "I don't get drunk... And I don't get-"

She smiled at him, "You don't get what? You don't get lost?"

"Grrr... Whatever! Let's go already," Zoro stubbornly ended the conversation and walked through the doors with Robin giggling close behind.

She had to admit, it was a well kept place. The dim lighting made for a relaxing atmosphere and the furniture was in good condition. Either pirates never came through her, or the owner just fixed the place up.

Zoro walked straight up to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools. Robin followed him, taking a seat next to him while admiring her surroundings. Low, pleasant music filled spacious room. A few customers were at the several tables behind them, seemingly drowning their sorrows. An unending amount of bottles and glasses filled up the several shelves behind the bar. Hopefully this place wasn't too expensive...

"Kenshi-san?" Robin whispered, tapping the man's shoulder.

"Hm?"

"I take it you have enough funds to cover this?" Zoro rubbed his chin while frowning in thought.

"Uhh... Yeah, we should be all right," he shrugged nonchalantly. Robin wasn't too convinced, but she shrugged it off as well. She was only here for the ride after all. Though she couldn't help but wonder, was this what Zoro always did when he left the ship?

"What can I do for you folks?" The bartender asked, not bothering to lift his head from the glass and towel in his hand. He was a thin, middle-aged man with a thin mustache and combed over hair. His striped shirt and suspenders gave him an old-fashioned look.

"Uhh, what's the cheapest thing you got here?"

"The cheapest thing I got, huh? What are you, pirates?" Robin was surprised, but Zoro was just confused. That was the second time someone guessed he was a pirate. Was it really that obvious? Well, other than being part of straw hat pirates…

"What makes you say that?"

The man, most likely Boyd, looked up at them and grinned, "I've seen every kind of person imaginable during my time on the Grand Line. I can tell when youngsters like you have that certain thirst for life... The thirst of a pirate."

Zoro wasn't really sure what he was talking about, but he didn't really care. He was thirsty for alcohol.

"I assume you've traveled along the Grand Line before? You seem to be quite knowledgable," Robin asked, leaning forward over the bar. The man chuckled, but didn't get a chance to answer.

"Robin, this is a bar, not a history class," Zoro told her. The barkeep could only laugh.

"Damn straight. Whaddya want? Since you're not from around here, first drinks are on me."

Zoro smiled, "Oh, well in that case, you got any Baijiu?" Robin looked between the two men with wide eyes.

"Baijiu? You just had to pick the most expensive one I have, didn't you? No one's asked for white liquor in years..."

"Well, I haven't had it in years, so I figured now was my chance," Zoro grinned at the man, who smiled back before disappearing underneath the bar. He came back up with a strange covered bottle and a glass.

"To think you came in asking for the cheapest thing I had... You're no drunk, I can tell that much," he said in his raspy voice. He poured the liquor into the small glass before sliding it over to Zoro.

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip. Boyd turned his attention to Robin, who was watching them in amusement.

"And what can I get for you, miss?"

Robin smiled and raised her hands, "I'm quite all right, thank—"

"Come on Robin, get something. You can't be drinking coffee all day. Live a little," the former pirate hunter encouraged her as he worked on his own drink. Robin wasn't sure. She had had her fair share of wine before, but between Zoro and the bartender, this place seemed pretty intense when it came to alcohol.

"So you're a coffee drinker, eh? How 'bout a Dirty Mother? Don't get to make'm that often..."

Both Zoro and Robin's eyebrows perked up.

"What the hell is that?"

Robin was just as curious as the swordsman. _'Dirty Mother...?_ _What a dirty name...'_ she thought.

"It's a Brandy cocktail with some coffee liquor. Good if ya like coffee, but it's still Brandy, so watch out," he told the two pirates. Zoro was smiling.

"We'll take one of those," he told the barkeep who happily obliged.

"Zoro? I don't need a drink..." Robin looked at her male companion, who took another shot of his drink, with a slightly nervous expression.

"Relax, Robin. When was the last time you had one? It'll be good, trust me."

Robin sat back in her stool in defeat. She decided to listen to her first mate and accept the drink, though she was apprehensive of the outcome. She didn't want to waste the drink if she didn't like it, and she certainly didn't want things to get out of hand if she _did_.

"There ya go. Tell me whatcha think," Boyd slid the coffee drink to them. Zoro quickly stole a sip before handing it to Robin, licking his lips in satisfaction.

"Hmm... That's pretty damn good...and I don't even care for coffee..."

"Well, from what I've seen, it seems you'd like anything with alcohol in it..." Boyd joked, earning a chuckle from Robin.

Zoro watched her as she brought the drink to her lips and took a small sip. The Brandy immediately burned down her throat as it delivered a strong bite, but the smooth coffee flavor seemed to balance it out perfectly. Robin was surprised, so she took another sip.

"Ha ha... I guess she likes it," Zoro grinned at the barkeep, who seemed to be enjoying himself.

"I'm surprised... It is quite delicious, better than I expected..."

"Of course it's delicious!" The barkeeper smiled, tightening his bow tie, "I made it!"

Robin couldn't help but snigger. She leaned back in her stool as Boyd prepared and delivered another drink to a man seated in the back of the room. Robin peered around the building, taking in the lavish and ornate environment. Round tables took up most of the room, with dimly lit candles placed on each one, and several chandeliers hung from the low ceiling. She also noticed a grand piano in the back corner, increasing its already apparent old-fashion sense. The bar was calm and quiet, much to her delight. Robin stole a glance of the swordsman to her left who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. Zoro leaned back in his stool and finished off the small glass of his beverage.

The bartender returned to his familiar position behind the bar and continued wiping the glass he had left. Zoro gave him a slight wave, motioning towards his empty glass. Boyd frowned at the green-haired man, "You're paying for this one. One free glass is the best I can do."

"Fine by me," Zoro replied with a smirk and held his glass out to retrieve more liquor. Robin continued working on hers, inwardly complimenting herself on how easily she was handling the drink, before striking up conversation.

"I take it you're the Boyd we've heard about?" Robin leaned over the bar and rested her chin in her hand.

"Yes ma'am."

The archaeologist smiled, "You have quite the place here. I'm impressed."

"That's 'cause I own it. I've built this place from the ground up, going on 30 years now…" the man's voice was gravelly and almost unpleasant sounding, but his attitude certainly told a different story. Zoro was nonchalantly listening to their conversation, much to Robin's attention.

"Oh? It seems you've put a lot into it. I'm sure it must be important then…"

Boyd smiled and ducked under the bar to place the polished glass in its correct place before returning to face the woman, "I was a pirate a long time ago, the bartender of my crew. My dream had always been to settle down and open my own saloon, and once my journey as a pirate was over, it appeared pretty reasonable to do it here."

"I see. I'm happy to see that you achieved your goal," the female pirate sincerely smiled at the older man, who smiled back.

"Trust me, seeing folks like you come in and enjoy themselves after a hard month at sea is the real reason I'm here," he admitted before noticing her empty glass. "Shall I get you another?"

Robin blinked and looked down at her glass. She hadn't even realized it was done, but had to admit it was the best drink she had in a long time. It was like coffee that relaxed rather than caffeinated her. Still, she was worried about any unwanted consequences…

"Yeah, and grab me some sake while you're at it." Zoro rested his hands behind his head, ignoring the barkeep's incoherent grunts.

"At least you've moved on to the cheaper stuff…"

Robin decided to trust Zoro's judgment and accepted the drink, before turning her attention back to the owner. Zoro grabbed his large glass of sake and stood up from his stool next to her.

"I'll be in the back," he mumbled to her as he made his way to one of the rear tables. The archaeologist watched her first mate prop his feet up onto his designated table and yawn. Robin couldn't help but chuckle.

Boyd was frowning at the swordsman from behind his bar, "What's with your friend? Is he already drunk?"

"Oh no, I don't think he can get drunk. He's just relaxing is all. It's sometimes hard to do that on our ship, believe it or not."

"From the few things I've heard about your captain, that's not surprising."

Robin knew better than to think people didn't recognize them, but the man had led her to believe that up until then. They were arguably the most popular pirates in the New World. "We're certainly not your average pirates. I'm sure you experienced a more regulated life as one."

"True, but I enjoyed it all the same." Boyd put his rag down and looked outside. Robin noticed the orange glow from the sunset peeking through the narrow windows. She could also feel a warm and fuzzy feeling in her head, and it wasn't the good kind. The straw hat hadn't noticed it before, but the glasses were much larger than she thought. Shrugging her shoulders, she brought her nearly empty glass to her lips and finished her perfectly prepared drink.

"It's getting late out there already. Feel like I just opened up…" Boyd was preparing another drink with a frown on his face, "So what gives? You two are on the same crew right? I thought you came here to drink together."

Robin turned to look at her crewmate, who was now sleeping in his chair with his drink still in his hands, and smiled. The rest of the place was empty, telling her that they had been out much longer than she thought.

"He wanted to come, and I merely tagged along," she said while smiling at the sleeping swordsman. The raven-haired woman got up from her stool and turned towards Boyd, who had just finished refilling her glass. "Oh no, it's all right—"

The former pirate grinned and pushed the glass towards her, "Tonight's on me, so you might as well." Robin smiled at him warmly, took the drink, and made her way back to Zoro. She took a seat across from his sleeping form and placed her once again full glass on the table. Her face was hot, and her vision blurred a bit every now and then, but she couldn't deny that she felt good. She sat there in silence for some time, admiring the flickering candles on the table. The sun continued to lower itself behind the horizon outside, making the room more dependent on the dim chandeliers and candles.

"Zoro-san?" Robin seemingly whispered across the table. The swordsman didn't budge. "Zoro~" She sang with a goofy smile. It was obvious he wasn't going to wake up from a couple of whispers, earning a sigh of defeat from his friend.

Robin laid her chin in her palm lazily as she stared at the sleeping man across from her. Watching the rise of his chest and the sound of his uniform breathing brought a smile to the woman's face. Between sips, her clouded mind was stuck on her sword-wielding companion. Little did she get to spend one on one time with him, regardless of whether it was one-sided or not. It was easy to do so with the others on the ship; practically everyone wanted or was willing to spend time with her, but the more Robin thought about it, the more she realized how much more complicated things were with Zoro. He wasn't the type of person to start conversation, or initiate activities, or even offer his own company for that matter. It's a trait Robin noticed the second she had joined up with the straw hat pirates, a trait she was extremely interested in cracking. Being an archaeologist and a scholar, Robin enjoyed challenges, and deciphering the mind and personality of Roronoa Zoro was the biggest challenge one could be faced with. True, their relationship had grown substantially since their beginning, arguably more than any other two crew mates. What started out as skepticism and doubt turned into trust and admiration between the two, and knowing this brought a great amount of joy to Robin's once sad heart.

The devil child fought to keep her eye lids from drooping, but her entire system was sluggish and unresponsive. Watching Zoro sleep had done nothing but help her accept the fact that she drank way too much. Now there was nothing she could do other than join the green-haired man. Fighting the drunken urge to move closer to Zoro, Robin crossed her arms over the table and laid her head down, succumbing to her tranquil environment.

* * *

 **A/N:** Should be like 1 or 2 more chapters (whenever I'm not lazy with my free time). Thanks for reading!


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